S.S.P.I.F.J.J.F.O.

As Kdog pointed out, I haven't been posting lately.  I would be annoyed by this badgering but I'm more flattered that anybody noticed.  Potato obviously doesn't read this blog otherwise he'd have words to exchange with me for my last post.  I think it's a bad sign if your boyfriend doesn't even read your blog.
So, Thanksgiving was shitty (HAHAHA).  When I got back from Texas I went to Jimmy John's and was quickly taken ill by the much feared Salmonella-ed Sprout Poisoning Infection From Jimmy John's on First and Ogden (S.S.P.I.F.J.J.F.O. for shorter).  The Friday after Thanksgiving the symptoms of S.S.P.I.F.J.J.F.O. started to show up.  It was weird spending Fakesgiving on a sick bed while others were stuffing themselves with stuffing.  I still haven't fully recovered from S.S.P.I.F.J.J.F.O. but most of the symptoms are gone or diminished.
That's all I feel like writing Kdog.  I am now going to go kick Peef until she wakes up and starts cleaning the bedroom.

Hinting

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/5-worst-ways-to-pop-the-question-2425093/

Pedophilia jokes are not funny (unless they're posted on Yelp)

Had an interview today.  They gave me a spelling test of medical words... not surprisingly, I was escorted out the door very quickly after turning it in.  Potato has been trying to make me feel better by telling me that he would have failed too and that it's stupid to give people spelling tests in the age of spell check.  I agree but this didn't cheer me up.

What did cheer me up was coming up with false accusations about the interviewer that we could post on Yelp.  However, knowing that the authorities would be called if we actually posted any of the ones that I liked, I am instead having a glass of wine and watching Harry Potter.

At least my next interview is with a baby and those things are cute.

Here's a link the to the beautiful doggy I want but can't afford.  *Sigh*
http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/15438309

mama mia

I have an interview tomorrow!  Got a new dress and everything.  Too bad the place is almost an hour away...

Fish outta water

Been a busy couple of weeks.  I did end up quitting on Monday.  It's a good thing I did too.  Almost every day this past week I came home, I chucked my keys on the ground, and colorfully proclaimed how much I don't care for those children.  Potato ends up getting the blunt end of my frustration because I can't truly express my displeasure to the kids or the mom.  I think he'll be equally happy when my time with them is over.  Only 6 more days of screaming, kicking, and name-calling... and me restraining myself from screaming, kicking, and name-calling.

On Halloween Potato and I went to a party dressed as Bleaker and Juno.  It was a rather interesting party.  Potato and I haven't been drinking since we moved here... but we drank like we had never stopped.  I am amazed on the amount of numbers that I got and that people have actually been calling me to hang out.  I don't remember much but I'm sure I was overly friendly and less than coherent.  Either way, I charmed a couple in a different program.  I've hung out with them twice now.  Last night we went to a small party with them.  I wasn't super comfortable there.  I felt like Potato and I stood out as "bad asses."  Truthfully, never in my life have I been called a bad ass or felt like a bad ass.  Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I've done anything that could qualify as bad assy.  I feel like that term should be reserved for far more interesting and daring people.  Regardless, Potato explained to me this morning that his school's Org. Psych program is one of the best in the nation.  So we were probably hanging out with a bunch of valedictorians (a word I can't even spell without the help of spell check) last night.  Makes sense.

Here's a nice picture of the fools that I'll be going to Austin with.  CUTE.

I'm getting really excited for my Austin visit which is rapidly approaching.  It'll be great to see Anita again and to experience some warm weather.  Also, I'm equally excited to see the new HP with Texas Dave.  Something about that combination really amuses me and I'm sure it'll be an interesting time.

Lately, I've been working like crazy on a new bunch of jewelry to sell at a Christmas party either at MB's or Jomaura's.  I've come up with a bunch of really unique hipster-ish necklaces.  I'm really excited about them.  Here's a preview:

Ignore the last post. I chickened out.

Potato, "Why don't you apply to jobs today?"
Me, "I'm planning to. But right now I'm watching hamster videos. Ssshhhh."

cheers to a better tomorrow

Quitting my job!!!

Movies

Potato and I don't go out much in EL.  It's a side effect of not knowing many people.  When Moose and Peef came to visit a couple of weekends ago it became far too obvious that Potato and I have never really been out on the town. We ended up going to a rather dingy Mexican restaurant.  It goes without saying that Potato and I watch a lot of movies.
This brings me to my first list:
Movies that I would like to own (in no particular order) -

Little Miss Sunshine - probably my favorite movie
Indiana Jones - all three would be nice even though I only really like the first and third one
Star Wars - again it feels un-American to not get all of them but I only like the last three
All of the Harry Potter movies
Romeo + Juliet
How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - my second favorite movie
A League of Their Own - Tom Hanks' character is amazing in this movie
The Shawshank Redemption
Big Fish - reminds me of Papa
The Sting - my favorite old-time movie
Field of Dreams - just like how some watch A Christmas Carol in December my family watches Field of Dreams in the Spring
Inception - since seeing it in the theater I've been dying to see it again
The Dark Knight
All of the Lord of the Rings
The Toy Story movies - the 3rd is the best by far
The Usual Suspects
Gladiator
Groundhog Day
The Matrix - only the first one.  The other ones are really painful
It's a Wonderful Life
Life is Beautiful
A Christmas Story
A Muppets Christmas Carol - classic brilliant film
Amelie
WALL-E
UP - I cried like a baby the first time I saw this
Finding Nemo
Ratatouille
The Incredibles
Pirates of the Caribbean  
The Departed
Pan's Labyrinth
All the Back to the Futures
Hook - Rufio Rufio Ru-Fi-OOOOOO
Darby O'Gill and the Little People - a horrifying Sean Connery movie that I watched as a child
The Crystal Stone - a classic tale of the town drunk and his two children that was a childhood favorite
oh, and the Twilight movies.


Also, I know what I'm getting Tommy for his birthday
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Regrets-Greater-Than-Yesterday/dp/145160906X

"Awesome"

I asked Boy how school was today and he replied, "awesome."  I was surprised by this because normally he says he doesn't know or that it was boring.  Interested, I asked him why his day went so well.  He fumbled over his words for a few minutes not managing to say anything coherent.  He stopped for awhile seeming to be thinking about what he wanted to say.  

Then, with a big grin, he excitedly spat out, "The teacher had a see through shirt on today." 

Awesome.

Being productive

Yesterday I turned my alarm off thinking it was the snooze button and was late for work.  Today I was so worried about being late again that I didn't go to sleep.  Real slick.

Playing Mono-poly

I haven’t been updating mostly due to the fact that I had mono.  It wasn’t that bad of a case.  I was only sick for about two weeks.  I didn’t mind the excessive sleeping because mono dreams are interesting.  Without the sore throat and the general achy feeling, mono is a lot like unemployment. 

Last weekend I went home to surprise my mom and Birdy (for her birthday).  I got home late on Thursday night and everybody was already asleep.  I left Gloria the Goldfish on the kitchen table so when my mom came downstairs in the morning she’d know I was there.  I could hear her in the kitchen when she excitedly told my dad I was home.  Very cute.  Bird was probably just as surprised/excited.  She did a double-take after saying hello to me.  I was happy to see her but was bummed that her birthday present hadn’t come in the mail yet so I showed up empty-handed. 

Bird and Big Bird, now would be a good time to visit.  You’ll get gifts.    

This past weekend Potato’s parents, Peef, and Moose came to visit.  Saturday was a really long day.  We woke up early to tailgate with Cap Dragon.  It was a fun time… but he crew was a little rowdy for Potato’s parents.  Something about girls dancing in the back of a truck and chugging liquor at 10AM made them uncomfortable.  However, Peef was intrigued and had to be pulled back.  All she kept saying was, “I got my dancing shoes!” 

I feel like this week I really ought to figure out if I want to keep this nanny job.  Boy has become incredibly difficult to deal with and has taken a liking to giving me the silent treatment.  I come home exhausted and crabby.  I understand that it’s a job and I recognize it as “work”.  I also know that I have to learn to deal with the frustration that it may cause.  But I really don’t like coming home feeling like crap.  I feel like I have to draw a line somewhere.  Bah.  I guess I’ll give it a little bit and see if it gets better. 

In November Potato and I are going to Texas for a few days.  Kevino and Blue Jeans are coincidentally going the same time.  Exciting.  

Speaking of exciting, I bought a sewing machine and am trying to learn how to use it.  

By the way, if you haven’t seen this website yet, you should check it out:

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

Worst day ever.

I wish I had a hot tub, glass of wine, and all Harry Potter movies on DVD.  I think that's the only thing that would make me feel better. Stupid Murphy and his stupid law.

Awhile ago I mentioned that my computer screen is broken.  It's getting worse.  Those black marks are spreading like the plague. I took a picture of it so we could all mourn together. 

Also, here's a picture of my three favorite siblings. 

Fishy

I haven’t updated in a while because, believe it or not, I’ve been busy. But not busy in an interesting way. So, read with caution and prepare to be bored out of your mind.

I started the nanny job on Tuesday. I nearly started to cry when I left for work and it was still dark. This isn’t your usual “dark.” I could see all gazillion stars (even the Seven Sisters). The sun wasn’t up for another hour or so. Btw, anybody else notice how Jupiter is rocking the night sky? Rock on Jupiter.

So anyway, the family that I sit for is pretty cool. Girl is 11 and Boy is 6. The mom is kinnda old-fashioned in the way that she wants her kids to be outside getting dirty. I didn’t really understand to what degree the kids could get gross but the first day Boy was swimming in the pond trying to hit fish with Big Stick (what I mean to say is: Huck Finn waded through a swamp to beat $1,000 koi fish on the head). Big Stick is the oversized twig that Boy brings with him everywhere. I’ve been whacked with it at least twice… and unfortunately I think the koi fish have also felt the wrath of Big Stick. I was amazed that Mom didn’t mind that Boy, soaked up to his waist in murky pond water, had transformed into swamp thing when she returned home from work.

A couple of days ago Boy actually caught a fish using Big Stick and a fishing wire and hook that he found. He didn’t even use bait. He just had an uninviting, unappetizing, and rusty old hook. Knowing that somebody had to have bought and placed those really over-priced fish in there I nearly had a heart attack. I never thought he’d actually catch the fish. But I’ve learned my lesson; never underestimate Boy’s abilities and koi are either really dumb or really hungry. I’ll have to keep a better eye on him.

This weekend was pretty fun. Friday night we went out with the kids in Potato’s program. I played shuffle board for the first time at a bar. It’s a really fun game but I’m pretty bad. Potato and I lost every game.

Last night we went for sushi dinner with the family from the yellow house. Potato and I are in agreement that it was a lot of fun. I always have a good time reminiscing with them about neighborhood water fights and TP-ing escapades. It’s also nice to see familiar faces every once in a while.

Because I know many of you are concerned - I think Gloria the goldfish just likes to swim on her side sometimes. She has been doing it on and off for a couple of weeks now.

Spoiler alert! I’m coming home on Friday. I’m hoping that one of my brothers will host a party in my honor (I’ll also need a place to crash. Dibs on Jomaura’s futon.)

Lions and Tigers and Bears (and Sox)

Good news! I got a nanny job. I start on Tuesday (at 6:30AM... which is kinnda bad news).
Bad news! I wore shoes that were nether good for walking/wearing to the interview.

it's 2:30 am

why is the catman's door open?

Bed and I are friends

I very seriously considered going for a jog after driving Potato to class... but then I remembered that I could go back to bed. So back to bed I go.

Oh EL

Dearest Blog,

A week or so ago I got a background check for a babysitting/nanny website.  They required my address to mail me the results.  So, not thinking too much about it, I put in my current EL address.  Now they can’t confirm that I am who I say I am and flagged my account.  During interviews I’m forced to convince people that I’m not trying to steal anybody’s identity because I’m a huge sketch-ball that shouldn’t be around children; I just foolishly put in the wrong address.  What sucks is that I’ve never been in any sort of legal trouble (I did get a speeding ticket once when I was 16) and would consider myself a square. 

Bah

Peef and I have been skyping a lot lately.  She can be a real drag to talk to at times.  Whenever there is a lull in the conversation or she says something that bothers me I give her ten minutes of “Feet Time”.  Feet Time is when I move the camera from my face to my feet (note that is most effective when feet are bare).  I can’t quite tell if Peef minds it because normally I turn the volume off and play solitaire during Feet Time. 

I would like to take this moment to promote talking to me on skype.  It will enrich your life.          

After a month of being here we finally found out what building the laundry machines are in.  We did 4 loads of laundry today.  I was getting frighteningly low on essentials. 

I chopped off 6 inches of my hair the other day at a salon school.  The perk of going to a school is that it only costs $16 and you’re not allowed to tip because students cut your hair.  The downside is that a student is cutting your hair.  The student I had did a good job but it took 2.5hrs to get it done. 

Anyways, the cut looks like this: 

I’m not sure what happened to my face.  It would be interesting if it stayed like this. 

Gloria, my best friend here, started swimming on her side a little bit.  I’ll be really sad if she dies. 

I miss summer

It's 67 degrees here.  That must be why I was dreaming about Christmas and am listening to Christmas music now. 

Hypothetical

Potato and I decided that if we were to get married Imp's title would be Junior Maid of Honor. 

ouch

It has been an interesting week here. K-Stillz came over on Thursday for a visit. Though she didn’t cry when she saw my apartment she did smile at her surroundings for a good twenty minutes and got rather giddy when I showed her our park. We went to a restaurant not too far away from us for the first time. The food there was really yummy. For some reason I always get wraps when I go out to dinner and I’ve never once had one I liked. They’re normally packed with something like mayo that triggers my gag reflex. So again I got a wrap but this one was really good. It was filled with guacamole and the outside was slightly crispy. I plan on going back about once a week.

I’m kinnda bummed out. Earlier in the week I had an interview for a nanny job. I went to the family’s house, talked to the mother, and played with the baby. The conversations that we had went really smoothly. She liked that I had so much experience babysitting and that I worked with kids at my last job. The little girl warmed up to me really fast. She took out her barrette and let me put it back in… a privilege she didn’t allow her mother. She also sat on my lap and had me read to her while I was answering her mother’s questions. Just to put the cherry on top, she started to cry when I left. I honestly can’t imagine a better interview. The mom said she had interviewed a few people and that I was the top pick. That’s why I was so surprised that she didn’t call me back when she said she would. I don’t understand what I could have done differently or what other type of experience I could have to get the job. Hence, I’m bummed out.

Also, my computer screen cracked.  Boo

Pat called me a nerd for this one

Dear Wii Fit,

 I understand that you’re sorry and want to make up, but this is not the way.  And this needs to stop. 

 We’ve had a spotty history.  When I first met you I jumped on you all the time.  I know that can cause damage and really hurt you but I didn’t mean to do it.  I’m just that uncoordinated.  You must understand that when you’re walking on a tightrope and you’re supposed to jump over the unfriendly walking chomping teeth it’s hard not to jump in real life (those things are terrifying).

 So you decided to get back to me in a really humiliating way.  Moose Moose came over and though he was stumbling though his sentences, with the grace of a ballerina, he was able to break all of my records often on one attempt.  I was crushed and denounced our relationship. 

 So now that we are finally on friendlier terms you’re trying to make it up to me by saying that I’ve lost weight.  That accusation is just preposterous.  I’ve just gotten back from a two-week road trip where I almost exclusively ate fast food.  Not to mention, until last week I hadn’t worked out once in over 3 years (the day Potato and I started dating).  To say that I’ve lost weight is comical.  None of my jeans come close to zipping (they did in June I’m very proud to say).   And don’t even get me started on the arm blub…

 I would really like to start over with you Fit.  We need to be able to trust each other.  I would appreciate some loyalty when it comes to my records and I promise to try really hard not to jump on you.  But the lies must stop.

Love conditionally,

Majdel

Maybe some day I'll use photos

I’m back in EL after a long weekend in Chicago to celebrate my dad’s 60th. Potato and I joined in on the softball game on Thursday night. I did little to help the team because I enjoy grounding out to the left side and blobbing to first. The only good thing I did was bring Potato to the game. He hit 3 for 4 and one of those hits was a homer that brought 3 people in. I think we won by 3 or 4 points. Way to show me up in front of my family spuddy.

The game was pretty fun because most of the neighborhood came out to watch. What was not fun were the swarms of hungry mosquitoes. For me and Potato, they were going for quality bites over quantity. They only got me 4 or so times but they were either on my hand or on my upper (sometimes inner) thigh… and Potato got two bites on his face. We lost that game.

Oh, good news - I interviewed for a nanny job yesterday and it went really well. I have another interview scheduled for tomorrow. We'll see how that one goes.

I was just informed

Potato woke up "early" to record shows on DVR.

Jealous?

I would de-friend Thome on facebook if I could

Not having a job and waking up at 2pm should make me feel bad about myself. However, I justify it by insisting it’s cheaper to wake up late because you only eat two meals.

On the downside, I'm afraid I'm turning into this guy http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

Couple-y

Potato and I have officially become one of the most loathed types of couples ever – we are the couple that runs together.  We just got back from a run around the park in our yard.  I, being the “beginner level” runner stayed on the outside path where the ground is more flat.  Potato, being at the “I-can-run-a-mile-without-wishing-for-death level” mostly jogged up and over the huge sledding hills. I don’t know what is most sickening… the running together, my inability to breathe, or my b.o. 

Amen. 

I’m blogging from the future (it’s an hour ahead here)

Somehow I got tricked into moving to EL with Potato.  This blog will mostly be about my adventures in EL with Potato and the Catman.  For those unlucky enough to have not met him, Catman is the man that sits in the hallway anytime after 10pm and pets and plays with his cats… an act that I find both terrifying and disturbing. 

Moved in august 2^nd and left for the East Coast on the 3^rd.  We drove through Canada but only stopped at the duty free shop and for food.  Potato used an ATM there and there was no ATM fee!  How amazing is that?  Excluding gas costs, it was cheaper to drive to Canada and use their ATM and pay their $3 boarder fee.  At our place on Southport you couldn’t find an ATM with a fee under $4.  Terrifying and disturbing. 

The East Coast trip was probably the best vacation that I’ve ever been on.  Potato actually finds driving long distances relaxing.  I find sleeping in the car relaxing so I wasn’t going to fight him for the wheel.  We stayed in Buffalo, NY for a couple of days.  We checked out Niagara Falls and spent 10 minutes playing slots and loosing $10 at a casino there.  We used Canadian money (Monopoly money) so we didn’t feel too bad about the bust. 

Potato drove up to Boston and we stayed with his mama’s family.  We went to Cape Cod to visit with Potato’s grandpa.  Grandpa is a really adorable man.  From what I understand, as a military man, he got used to having everything scheduled and doesn’t like to stray from it much.  It seems like his schedule now involves naps, coffee breaks, cookies, and aggressively feeding his guests.  Thusly, he is awesome. 

After some amazing meals with the Potatoheads we drove to Cooperstown to check out the Hall of Fame.  If you’ve never been to the Hall you should know that it’s in the middle of nowhere and you should get a full tank of gas before you head out that way.  It is also one of the most scenic drives I’ve ever been on.   Over every rolling hill is a pond and an amazing display of wildflowers with mountains as their backdrop.  Needless to say I took a gazillion pictures. 

The Hall of Fame itself only reinforced my revulsion for the Yankees and the Cubs.  It was neat to see the White Sox locker though.  All of the memorabilia displayed I had either seen live on TV (Anything from the 2005 World Series) or I had actually been at the game (the perfect game last year).  As a side note:  If you do go to the Hall I highly recommend avoiding the video in the beginning.  It is about as enjoyable as the planetarium’s Meteor Mouse movie. 

Back in Buffalo we went to a Train and John Mayer concert.  It was really awkward being there with diehard fans when you dislike the bands playing.  Oh, and get this… Train started their set with a train whistle and choo-choo noises.

 Potato and I were speechless.

On a completely different note, Potato and I got to go out to dinner with my fake brother BM and his wife.  After dinner we got a ride on his coast guard boat.  The boat is loaded with four engines and seats the resemble Nascar’s with all of the buckles.  Nobody is going to believe me (due to the squabbit incident), but I saw a duck-goose on the water.  It was probably my highlight of the boat ride.  Others were impressed by the speed, nauseating turns, and the way the boat felt like it was flying when we hit high bumps.  But that was not for me.  I fell in love with the duck-goose: nature’s goofiest looking hybrid.

Hanging out in Buffalo was fun.  J. Temperature and his gf were good company.  It was also interesting hanging out with P. Trick Kane’s cousin while it was his turn with the cup.  J. Temperature drank Bud Light from the Stanley Cup the night we left town… That’s pretty damn cool.

Now Potato and I are just finishing up on the apartment.  We still have to sort out the clothes, shoe arrangements, and hang some pictures.  We should be done with that stuff by the end of the day. 

That means we’ll be accepting visitors!  

FYI - Potato and I will be headed back to Chicago Thursday to play in the softball game and to wish Pops a very happy 60^th birthday. 

Now I must get back to the future.